Sleeping Companion

Jealousy HAS to be the worst trait inherited upon becoming a stepparent. It was jealousy that took over my mind and body when I awoke at 10:30 p.m. last night to discover I was in bed alone. The end of "The 40-Year-Old-Virgin" played in the background as I wandered into Minnow's room. I looked down at Abel, tucked beside Minnow in bed and asked, "What are you doing?" The words came out of my mouth as if I had just caught him cheating on me with a coworker. He mumbled incoherent sleepy words and made his way to our room to slip under the covers of our bed. OUR bed.

Abel hadn't been cheating on me in the true sense, but nonetheless, it felt this way. It took all my strength not to start in on him last night. "Don't you think it's a little GROSS to still be sleeping with your daughter" is what I wanted to ask him. It wouldn't be a fair question though. It comes off as accusatory and because of that, it's not fair. It's not fair because if Minnow were my biological child, I'm convinced it wouldn't have bothered me to the same degree.

This morning as I emptied the dishwasher, Abel playfully wrapped his arms around me. I brushed him off, avoiding any mention of last night. This didn't get a reaction from him. Still confused as to how I deal with these emotions without coming off as a child myself, brushing him off is all I can do.